Today was a good day.
We found out that Logan does in fact have a learning disability.
I hesitate, however, calling it a "disability". It's not really a disability at all. He just learns differently when it comes to certain things. He is extremely smart, falling into above average in some areas, average in most, and below average in a couple of other areas.
As Jeff and I have suspected, he experiences difficulty in reading fluency. Once he reads paragraph or chapter, he can definitely relate the subject and comprehends the topic and words. When it comes to putting those same ideas onto paper, that's where he lacks significantly. This applies in math as well. He can get the concepts, he can get the answers, but putting it onto paper is very difficult. He has difficulty sounding out large words but after four or five times of reading that word, he will get it. It just takes him longer.
Verbally, he's above average. In our house, this shouldn't come as much of a shock. If you can't talk in my house, you're in trouble. You need to be able to relate your ideas in an articulate manner, otherwise, you might find yourself left behind in the conversation. All three of my kids are articulate, intelligent and think for themselves. Unless I tell them what to think...sometimes I have to push them in the direction I believe in...LOL
He definitely experiences difficulties in attention. He even told the ladies who worked with him that he has difficulties with it. A task that should take a few minutes can take half an hour or more to do. Putting away the dishes...that can be a 45 minute task and we have a small kitchen and a dishwasher. All he has to do is put them away. He's cut the drawers, food, some of my other kitchen utensils. He just gets a thought in his mind and does it. He requires more breaks and times to wander a bit. It helps to break away from a task that is causing frustration and move to a different place to think of something else while the brain absorbs the information. I did this a lot on my own in school. There were many times I'd ask to go to the bathroom so that I could just wander there and back, calm my brain and get back into the task at hand. At the time, I didn't realize that was WHY I was doing it, but I knew it helped. Typical female brain in this case. Girls tend to cope differently and make up strategies easier than boys. Boys get far more frustrated and shut down. It doesn't make boys any better or worse at coping than girls, but they tend to have more difficulty developing strategies on their own. Logan has a few that work right now, so we will encourage them in the meantime.
Impulsivity. That's one he struggles a LOT with. This goes with how he speaks sometimes (swearing), ideas that pop into his head (like I said above when it comes to putting away dishes, cutting things and such) and food. If there's junk food in the house, especially candy or pop, he will sneak it and then lie when he's caught. This has been an issue for quite a while. He has stolen one time from a Walmart, but I think (hope) that we've managed to quash that impulse.
The suggestions the consultants gave me were where I thought we'd go. I think that having him in the Learning Strategies class next fall will be best. It will take him from the large classroom situation where there are too many distractions and too many kids, and put him in an environment that he can succeed in. I will have more contact with the teacher and be able to make a learning plan for him. Because he will be in a class where a majority of the kids have difficulties, there will probably be many kids who have a similar plan as well. Logan is concerned that he will be away from his friends, but therein lies one of the bigger issues. I think being away from those friends will actually help. He will still see them during recesses and such, but moving him to a different class may really be a benefit to him. I know he's skeptical of this, and it may take some adjustment, but I think by Christmas next year we will see him in a better place, both in his education and his confidence.
Logan is such a confident kid. He has a great sense of self and high self esteem and I want him to keep that. Continuing to struggle and fail will only result in the depression of both of those wonderful attributes that make Logan so Logan.
I'm going to approach with a medication free type start. What I've been finding in my talk with other adults and educators is that we forget that children with ADHD become adults with ADHD. While medication certainly has it's place, I believe that strategies and therapy are going to be the best route to success in Logan's future. If the doctors feel that the benefits will outweigh the side effects of the medication and that becomes our experience, that's fine. I don't approach health care with an "all or nothing" type of process. I want to find the balance that works best for both myself and Logan and move forward from there. I just want people to keep in mind that he will grow up and make the choice to not take the medications and that if or when he does, he will still be able to cope with the difficulties that come up with ADHD. I'm especially worried about personality changes. I know how the medications can affect how we feel, and I don't want to see that happen with Logan. He's a happy kid, rarely ever violent and a joy to be around. I don't want that to change. He has so many friends and I worry that being on medication and how it could affect his personality could be detrimental to some of his relationships.
There are most definitely natural approaches we can take in the meantime. We can investigate Omgea - 3 supplements that have been shown to help in the functioning of the brain in an ADHD person. He does sometimes have sleep issues due to his brain racing before sleep. I know how that goes as well. Melatonin has been beneficial to him in the past. We can teach his brain to learn how to focus through tasks like his mountain biking group and his biathalon. Both require him to focus on the task at hand and given that he is so happy in both activities, he will be more than likely to continue to keep his attention on that task. So when he's having trouble with math or something, we can tell him to think about biathalon and how he focuses down the sight on the air gun. There is always other alternatives like meditation, learning to focus in the moment of distraction was a huge benefit to me. Just taking the time to breathe and let the anxiety go was a massive help.
I've always known, from the day he was born, that I had a special child who was highly intelligent and capable. It's been heartbreaking to see him struggle so hard with his focus and difficulties in reading and writing. I am so happy though, that I advocated for him so strongly. I was told by one intake that they didn't consider him "bad enough" at the point we were at in the fall. All I could think to myself was "How bad does it need to be? Jail? Stealing?" I don't want that for my son. Especially a child who has such potential for success and happiness.
I don't give up on my children. I won't give up on my children. I will make sure that he has all he needs in the future. If this comes up for the other two, or whatever may come, it doesn't matter. They are what matter. Making sure that they have what they need, the support they need, the love they need. I'm not a perfect mom. I won't always be able to find the answers. I will get angry, frustrated, I will yell, cry and be mad, but it will never change how I will stand up for them.
I know that my struggles now have a purpose. Knowing how he feels...it's amazing. I told the consultants that it's like listening to them describe me. I told them how I cope with it, and they both agreed that these are strategies that could benefit Logan and that in some ways, it IS how he's coping already. He has one of the best resources in the world...me. It means that I will have to learn to cope with more as well and model that this isn't something that should hold us back, rather, be a hurdle to jump that in the long run will make us stronger.
Now. Grady's in the pre-kindergarten program at our school. Let's see where Grady takes us in the future. I get the feeling I'll be on the same path with him, just a parallel path that we will have to learn to navigate there.
One thing is for sure. My life sure isn't boring!
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