Thank Goodness for doctors who listen to me.
As I mentioned in a prior blog, I had put a stop to finishing up on Logan's diagnosis last year. I did it for a few reasons. First, the educational assessor who saw him felt that I didn't need to continue on unless I was looking for medication to help him. At that point, I wasn't, so I figured that it was best to just put a hold on it. He was on their radar, given his difficulties last spring, and they knew I was keeping an eye on it.
Secondly, I was feeling very overwhelmed, though at that point, I didn't realize that was how I was feeling. I had just been diagnosed myself, given a new medication and now I was being told that my oldest son might have ADD/ADHD but that it probably wasn't necessary to move forward. Just being diagnosed was overwhelming on it's own. It was tough and great at all once.
This year, already in school, we are seeing Logan's difficulties coming through. His desk is a disorganized disaster (much like mine was as a kid), he's struggling with reading, he loses interest quickly and is having trouble keeping up now, unless I'm on him, making sure he's getting the things done that need to be done. I know that for now, it's okay to be helping him, but I also know that in the future, I won't be there for everything. One day, I will have a job and won't be here after school to make sure his spelling words are written down or he's taken the proper notes to study for a test. He needs to learn to stand on his own and take some responsibility for his difficulties and how he handles them.
My greatest wish is that he is successful and confident. He has the confidence thing down, but I'm afraid that as school moves forward and he keeps getting negative feedback because we aren't sure of how to handle what's going on in his brain, that he will lose that confidence. That he will become withdrawn and depressed. And I don't want to see my vibrant, happy, confident little boy go that direction.
So, I talked to our family doctor last week regarding getting him re-referred to the clinic we had started with initially. He was willing, but given that he was inexperienced, he thought it would be best to talk to our pediatrician to see if they would re-send the referral they sent last spring. I waited for a few days to hear from them and they didn't get back to me. My home phone isn't working properly, so I gave them my cell number. They didn't call that, but left a message on my home phone line.
I found out that yes, they sent the referral back to the hospital. YAY!! One thing done.
I've been working with his school, and they are willing to do the two tests that the Grey Nuns asked be done by the school. So...that's a second thing done.
Now, we just have to wait for the hospital to get back to us, give me the package they require to assess him, fill that out and hopefully we will be on the right track.
My little man needs help. He needs strategies to help him move forward.
But he also needs a place to channel some of that energy that runs through his mind all the time.
So we put him into Biathalon. It was easily one of the best ideas we've ever had. He's such an active kid and has a natural aptitude towards skiing already. We had put him onto downhill skis at 23 months and he had it down by the end of the time his dad worked with him. Cross country skiing was an easy transistion and as long as he pays attention, he does really well.
So biathalon seemed like a natural way to go. It combines cross country skiing with shooting a .22 rifle. We took him to his first session last weekend and he was able to figure out the air rifles and how to make them work immediately. Not a shock for a kid who has amazing skills with his hands. He's always been amazing with his hands. He could open bottles and such when he was 11 months old. He's been able to work tools since he was at least 2. So the mechanism of the rifle wasn't a challenge. They even let him shoot the .22 rifles, but they were a bit too big for him. By the end of the hour long session, he was shooting the air rifle, 5 out of 5 hits. Amazing. I couldn't have done that in a million years.
He's an amazing kid with incredible skills. It's going to be a matter of tapping into how he sees the world and how it can help him learn. Apparently, he does his best work with shooting and skiing. I'm incredibly proud of him, and his ability to just move through life, day by day, confident and happy. He's a terrific kid with an amazing heart and he cares about anyone who moves through his life, whether they are there for a minute or a lifetime.
I've always known there was something incredibly special about my Logan. And everyday, through all of the frustration and difficulties, he proves that he is able and willing to break through and fight his way forward. His goals are lofty, but not impossible. Michael Phelps is a world class athlete with dozens of medals behind him and he suffers from ADHD. Finding that thing...that one thing that can help a child with ADHD focus his/her attention on can be so amazing. Logan's ability in biathalon has been a real eye opener for me. I see where I feel the exact same way about things. I do my best behind a camera. It calms me. It focuses me. I see things that other people might not necessarily see through a lens. That's why I'm so obsessive with it. Because it calms me. That's a big epiphany.
As I was writing this blog, I received a phone call from his school. They have been discussing him with the Inclusive Learning Program and they have given me an alternative group to call and get his assessment moving forwards. It's so exciting and wonderful to feel like I'm being listened to and how much assistance Logan is getting from his doctors and school. It's empowering and encouraging.
So. In the meantime, I do my best to help my boy. Keep him moving forward, listen to his words and see past the difficulties to help him find the strength to move forward and surpass his disability. He has it in him. I've always known that.
My other two have the same abilities, just not the struggles ahead of them in the future. Mind you, with how Grady NEVER EVER sits still...God only knows. The kid is insane. Olivia is learning in leaps and bounds, and she just thrills me when I watch her learn something new and the pride she feels in that moment. There is nothing more important in my life than watching my kids grow and thrive. I will do nothing less than my best for them, and nothing in this world, career, money, whatever, will ever stand in the way of me advocating for my children. I don't want to see my kids struggle with things that we can help them with. They will struggle in the future, they will fail. But those will be normal natural struggles and failures. I do NOT have to sit by and watch my children fail and struggle if I have the ability to guide them to the proper ways of achieving the best they can.
I hope that other parents feel this way and fight as hard for their children. And if they don't yet, perhaps one day they will realize how important it truly is and stand up and advocate. Nobody is a bad parent if they miss something and then have to fix it later. It's bad when you miss it, acknowledge it and NOT change it. Kids are so important. All of them. No child is born bad, no child is born unworthy of love, support and care. Being a parent is such a privilege. They are going to grow up, change and move away from me one day, and I will do my best to pass on to a generation a sense of responsibility, accountability and respect.
ADHD is a disability. It's a mental issue that takes time to work with. It's not an excuse. It's a hurdle to jump. It's a wall to climb. It's an ocean to swim. It's a reason to keep fighting and move forward daily, making oneself better and better. Showing the world that anyone can do what they work hard to do. We all learn differently. Even people without ADHD or any other learning disability. Some of us just have to work a bit harder to learn the same things.
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