As I was puttering around my house this evening, making dinner, doing laundry and dishes, dealing with small meltdowns from my toddler and 5 year old, I started reflecting on being thankful.
Sounds like an odd time to be reflecting on thankfulness, as I'm doing so many chores that most people find tedious. I admit, I find them tedious too. Being ill the past month, and dealing with all the new feelings and thoughts I've been having, I've let my house go to pot, pretty bad.
I'm thankful I have a house. I'm thankful I have a place that I can go to, feel safe, comfortable, inhibited. I can come home and cry, laugh, play, think. I'm thankful for having a home that can get messy.
My home can be messy because it means I have things that help with my comfort. I have clothing, shoes, just about anything I want or need. My kids have toys, games, and all the comforts they require as well. I have too many things at this point, but I know that I can donate these things and they can become comforting for another.
I have these things because I have a hardworking husband. My husband feels strongly about caring and providing for his family, even though it takes him away from us frequently. He's supporting, loving, compassionate. He's an amazing father, and wants nothing but the best for his kids. He plays with them, cares for them, bathes them. He gets up with them at night if there's a need. He helps me around the house, taking care of some of the chores that I fall behind on, he will let me go out whenever I need to get away from the house for a couple hours.
I have three healthy, happy well adjusted children. They have strong personalities. They think for themselves, are curious and ask many questions. Grady and I were looking at bugs yesterday and it was so fun! We watched them try to take away craisins that he had dropped on the ground last week. My kids teach me something just about every single day. They love me unconditionally, and there is nothing they could do to change how I feel about them.
Even though I have health issues, I have the resources to take care of myself. I live in a time of medical advancements that help me manage my diabetes, anxiety and ADHD. Any of those three could affect my life devastatingly if those resources weren't there. I have the information at my fingertips to research and learn about whatever could be wrong with me and take my health into my own hands. I have the resources to help my children with whatever health issue they might wind up with. I worry nothing about if there is a major health scare, where, who, how, they will be cared for. I live in a city with countless resources, if only I reach out and ask for the help.
I have the conveniences of life. I have all of the appliances I could need and some that I don't need but definitely make my life just that much more easier. I have the electricity and water to clean my dishes and laundry, that will help keep my family healthier.
But above all, I am thankful for my family and friends. The people who enrich my family's lives. The people who run to help me when I'm in need and the ones that I want to help when they are in need. I have friends who have gone above and beyond what they needed to do. I have wonderful neighbours who watch my children while they are out playing with other's. I feel safe in my neighbourhood. I have everything I need at my fingertips.
The past month has been tough for me. I've experienced a big diagnosis, started a new med, made big changes in my own life, questioned myself and my own life. I've felt bad for myself, felt great about myself. I've had friends and family who were exceptionally understanding with me and helped me realize my potential. We've experienced a few illnesses I wasn't expecting and made it through that as well, with an immense amount of support and help from friends.
So...Today I was able to realize how lovely my life is. Today's been relaxing. My kids have been helpful and fun. We've been out to the store for a treat, been to the park, just played the day by ear. Tomorrow, we'll probably go get some flowers to plant in our yard, and just take another day by ear. We have a four day long weekend, so why bother worrying about routines and such. We'll just take each day as they come, then start our week and go back into routine. I think this is a good experiment for the summer.
I hope everyone else is feeling relaxed and happy today.
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